more by dana
“All this said, i’m not so convinced that bullying will go away. More depressingly, i think that it will continue to get worse. The more we as a society focus on hyper-individualism (and free speech above respect), the more we see youth believe that they have the right to torment anyone they wish. The less youth are socialized into adult society, the worse bullying gets. The less present parents are (jail, addiction, _workaholism_), the more bullying operates as a tactic for attention. The more we emphasize that mean-spirited attacks win air time on reality TV (and are the acceptable manner of judgment for American Idol), the more we set the standard for bullying. We’re living in a culture where bullying gets tacit validation in so many ways. We adults create child bullies through our actions - perhaps we need to think about the standards we set rather than the technology? I’m regularly horrified by my professional colleagues who are at work at 7PM even though they have young children at home who will be in bed by 9PM… those children are acting out for a reason and i think it’s hypocritical to talk about the problems with technology when we don’t talk about the problems with adult presence.”
I wish we listened to people like her and John Ralston Saul. It’s not that problems are so complex, but that we’re afraid of the sitting down, thinking through them, and following the conversations towards the answers. I’m absolutely dumbfounded that we can pass a law in Montreal changing all of the “squares” in into “parks” so that we can kick people out at 11pm without having any real discussion of it and without thinking through what some of the unintended outcomes of this we think are going to result. You live on a public space, you’re going to hear music at night if you want to keep your windows open. Such is life. And these zones of less-than-surburbia are necessary for the health of the community.
Same thing with the plan to set up security cameras along St. Laurent. Are we really that short-sighted that we think this is in our best interest? Or that it’s going to really going to reduce crime in our society?
Public, somewhat less-than-100% controlled, mixed use, intergenerational-spaces are essential for a healthy community. Completely “rationalized / optimized” use of space and people (fordism) is an old concept that isn’t worth bringing forward into another generation. Let realize it and get on with it.
April 25th, 2007 at 9:31 am
Thanks for linking to that, it was a good read.
I have to say I’m a bit heartened by (what appears to be) a mini-backlash against hyper-individualism. As danah points out, bad behaviour gets you attention, ratings, etc. but what of respect, community, and morals? When the response to what we call “anti-social behaviour” here in the UK is to set up a CCTV camera, you can rightfully call that out as a lazy response, but the work to solve the fundamental problem is difficult - where to start? It seems danah is suggesting we have to look at how kids are being raised - which I agree with. But what do we do now?
For some reason, this other little example stuck in my mind. It’s from an interview with Fabien Baron, one of the world’s top creative directors:
What do you say to “whatever”?
As long as “whatever” is a legitimate response, can you build a community, cultivate respect?
April 28th, 2007 at 5:49 am
Thanks for introducing me to Danah’s site - excellent.
I am really lucky to be able to freelance because when I have my son, I can pick him up after school, spend the evening with him, and work again after bedtime. Not everyone is so fortunate.
I wish there was more value placed on the role of community in a kid’s life. It’s not just how kids are being raised at home. There is a general lack of community support for families. And a serious lack of funding in public schools that could allow for more quality extra-curricular activities to be brought in from the community. It would help busy parents raise healthy happy kids.
For now… a solution might be to find creative ways of getting more members of the community involved in our kids lives and education ?
Example that comes to mind: University Theater program could offer its students credit to teach an after-school course at grade school. And bonus: theater activities like role playing and improvisation are great ways to learn respect and understanding, and in an environment where freedom of expression is encouraged at the same time.
Possibly related and came to mind: A theater school I went to when I was a kid…was a real hole in the ground in a bad part of town, “pay what you can” kind of deal, teachers were all theater professionals with no money but loads of passion for the school and the kids. No one was excluded. There was a real sense of community. I remember noting that there was NO graffiti anywhere on the bathroom walls… as is found in most schools and public washrooms. The reason, I am certain, is because we were free to express ourselves in class, we were not judged, we were given trust and respect. The school felt like it belonged to everyone… and there were no bullies… and no security cameras!